Recently, Suntory decided to send some of its whisky into space to age. Because why not? Here are some things that could happen in space as the whisky ages that would be different than on earth. They probably will not happen, even though we might want them to (maybe?).
1. After being hit by a wave of cosmic energy, the whisky gains the superpower of being stretchy/invisible/on fire/a rock person.
2. The whisky comes back pregnant with an alien space baby.
3. The whisky lets George Clooney die. WHISKY WOULD NEVER LET GEORGE CLOONEY DIE.
4. Instead of training astronauts how to drill, NASA will train the whisky to save the earth from an asteroid using a nuclear bomb.
5. Whatever the f happened at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
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